


Aren't you forgetting something?

by BlackwaterVial



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kissing, M/M, basically just how the ending should have been, mgsv spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 10:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5001019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackwaterVial/pseuds/BlackwaterVial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little rewrite of the ending because what we got was nice, but not really enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aren't you forgetting something?

For nine years he had been sitting next to John in hospital, hoping his old friend would finally wake up again. Every day it became harder to watch him lay unconscious under the bright ceiling lights that made him look almost unreal. The more time passed the more Adam worried that John would never open his eyes again.

Until one day he did.

Adam was sitting next to him as usual, his eyes fixed on the rustling leaves outside the window, his mind wandering back to Tselinoyarsk as so often, when a soft moan made him startle. Aside from the constant humming of the medical equipment and the occasional rustle of sheets when the nurses adjusted the bed of John’s roommate, Adam was used to absolute silence. So when he heard something move next to him he thought at first that he was just imagining things now. That nine years had finally managed to break his mind. But as the beep of the ECG grew more frantic it finally dawned on him what was happening. He jumped up, his chair clattering to the ground, and looked around in panic. John was moving, his head slowly turning from left to right. Adam felt relief flooding through his body and forced himself to stay calm. This was completely unlike him, freaking out because of such a simple thing, but he couldn’t help himself. Finally, after nine long years which made his hair turn entirely grey and his mind go almost crazy, he would see John again – _awake._ He rushed forwards, kneeling beside the bed and gripping John’s hand. He had done it so many times, always waiting, always hoping for the slightest reaction, but he’d never gotten one. So when this time John’s fingers closed around Adam’s ever so gently, it made his eyes burn and his throat go dry. He was so focused on John’s face and on holding back his own tears that he didn’t hear the nurses coming in until they were shoving him to the side to take care of John.

The next weeks Adam spent more time at the hospital than before, if that was even possible. He brought John snippets of newspapers and occasionally a new music tape to listen to. John was oddly fond of the song Adam brought him and when he entered the room one day he found his old friend standing by the window, softly humming along to _The Man Who Sold the World._ Adam chuckled at the sight of the greatest soldier of all times humming a tune while wearing a very revealing hospital grown. John turned with a smile on his face as he heard Adam entering the room and Adam felt heat rushing to his face. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this happy.

Eventually, John asked about the man he shared his room with and Adam had to explain everything. John frowned and Adam could see how little he liked the idea of sharing his legend. As much as John claimed to despise everything the Patriots made him stand for, Adam knew that secretly he’d gotten used to his role, even embraced it. But John was never one for sentimentality and for now Adam could convince him that there were much more important things for him to do – things for which he needed to stay off the radar. After weeks of discussion and planning they had finally sorted it all out. Both John and Adam knew what roles they had to play, even though neither of them really liked it.

“Self-hypnosis?” John asked very warily one day as he and Adam sat together on his bed, watching the sun sink into the ocean.

“It’s a necessary evil I’m afraid. Some things just need to be done.”

“And you will forget…everything? You will forget me?”

“Well, technically I won’t. I’ll still remember everything we did together and I’ll still remember Big Boss, just that it…well, it won’t be the real you…” Adam trailed off as he saw the hurt expression in John’s face.

“So you will forget me?”

Adam felt the urge to just grab John’s face with both hands and tell him he would never forget about him, that he would always have a large place in his heart – no, that he would always _own_ his heart. But of course he didn’t do it. This wasn’t the time for cheesy confessions. It never was in their world. And so he just nodded slightly without looking at John. From the corner of his eyes he saw John nodding as well, turning his eyes towards the sunset outside the window again.

“I’ll just have to make sure to remember for the both of us then.” John said.

The honest tone in his voice made Adam startle and he turned his head so fast towards John that his neck made a very unhealthy sound. John still looked straight forward, his face colored in warm shades and his hair shining in the last rays of the setting sun. The beauty of the scene almost knocked the air out of Adam’s lungs. If he just moved forward an inch or two now, he could…

The door behind them opened and a nurse came in, placing a vase with flowers next to the Phantom’s bed. John turned his head and looked at Adam.

“Just make sure to remember as soon as it’s necessary.”

Adam nodded.

“Of course”

John gave him the hint of a smile and Adam could feel cool fingers brushing his own for a split second before a loud noise was heard from behind them. The radio had fallen to the ground and the nurse ran out of the room.

_Not now…_ Adam thought, but it was too late. John stood and looked over to the man in the other bed. He gave Adam a short nod.

“It’s time”

After that everything happened fast. The Phantom awoke, Cipher learned of their location and John and Adam had to plan everything very quickly.

\---

And now they were here, standing on a collapsed bridge, the sun slowly rising on the horizon, painting the world in soft colors.

“Use that bike. It’s tuned up and ready to go.” Adam said and John, dressed in a leather jacket, looked at the familiar vehicle.

“Well look at this… I thought she only gets off her bike if she falls in love or falls dead. How did you manage to get it from her?” John chuckled.

“You know EVA…anything for you.” Adam said with a hint of disdain in his voice.

“And yet you’re the only person here with me now.”

Adam felt a blush creeping up to his face and was thankful for the dim morning light.

“Anyway” he tried to keep his voice as nonchalant as possible. “I’ll handle the rest.”

“Thanks Adam.”

“Of course”

John grabbed Adam’s shoulder, his remaining eye meeting Adam’s. “I mean it. Thank you. I wouldn’t be here without you. It’s good to know that there is at least one person I can always count on.”

Adam searched for words but he couldn’t find anything left in his brain. The fact that John, the man he admired since the first time he met him, showed him such a great amount of trust, robbed him of any words he could have said. But there was so much more he felt for John than admiration. He had always tried to suppress the feelings, knowing full well that John would never return them. But standing here on this collapsed bridge, face to face with John made all those feelings Adam kept locked away bubble to the surface again and it _hurt_. Adam knew he wouldn’t see John for a long time now. He had just gotten him back and now he was about to lose him again. This was Goodbye. Adam wanted nothing more than to take a step forward and embrace John, _kiss_ John, but the rational part of him knew that the notion was absolutely foolish. John respected him as a soldier, maybe even as a friend, but there was nothing more, Adam told himself.

And so he looked away, starting to talk about the Phantom in an attempt to lure his mind away from the unwanted thoughts.

“He’ll take your place. From here on he’s ‘Snake’. He believes it, too.” With each word Adam said he became more aware of the situation. It was terrible for him, sure, but he could only imagine how hard it had to be for John. He was about to give up his whole identity. Everything he had built up to this point would be passed on to another person. Adam couldn’t handle it anymore. In a few days he would have forgotten John, the real John. He would go on living with the Phantom as if nothing had happened. John on the other hand would be alone while still remembering everthing. Adam could feel his eyes burning and knew that he had to let John go now or he wouldn’t be able to do it at all.

“Move now, quickly.” Adam didn’t know how he managed to maintain a normal tone with everything that was going through his head right now.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Adam nodded absentmindedly and pulled a cigar out of the pocket of his coat and passed it to John without really looking at him. As John moved closer to let Adam light the cigar, Adam found himself breathing in his smell for what could be the last time. When the cigar was lit Adam straightened his back, took one step backwards and nodded at John, then turned away and marched towards his horse.

“Adam!”

He felt fingers closing around his wrist and turned around. John stood so close to him that Adam could feel his breath on his skin. He involuntarily drew in a sharp breath and his knees suddenly felt weak. John’s hands slowly trailed up his arms and grabbed his shoulders, holding him in place.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he said with the slightest smirk.

Adam thought his heart might stop. John moved in closer and Adam could almost feel the other man’s lips on his own. Then, in the last second, John turned his head and placed a light kiss onto the bridge of Adam’s nose. He took a step back with a challenging, almost childish grin on his face. Adam stood there, absolutely stunned. The sheer impossibility of the situation robbed him of his words and apparently also of his ability to move.

“Well then…” John drawled, slowly turning around. “We’ll meet again.”

Adam could feel his feet moving on their own and words he didn’t remember forming with his tongue escaping his mouth.

“Don’t you dare!”

He grabbed John’s arm but the other man was faster. He spun around, hands on Adam’s waist and pushed him backwards until Adam could feel the rough bark of a tree digging into his back. John brought their faces close together and all but growled

“Don’t I dare _what_?”

One of John’s hands slipped around Adam’s waist, lingering on the small of his back and pulled their bodies closer together. Adam’s hands trailed up almost automatically and he wrapped his arms around John’s neck. If this was a dream he never wanted to wake up again. He fisted his hands into John’s hair and slightly pulled him forward. Adam could feel John’s warm lips softly on his cheek, slowly trailing down.

“Adam…” he growled, the low tone rumbling against Adam’s chest.

He opened his mouth to say something in return, but the words never got the chance to escape. John’s lips closed around Adam’s and everything he might have said vanished, turning into a soft moan. John used the opportunity to drag his tongue across Adam’s bottom lip and into his mouth. John's hips moved, one leg slipping between Adam's. Another moan escaped his throat and he could feel John smiling against his mouth.

“Had I known about the noises you make I would have done this sooner…” he murmured.

“Oh shut up” Adam growled and finally pushed back. He pulled at John’s hair and inelegantly shoved his tongue into the other man’s mouth. Now it was John’s turn to let out a soft moan and Adam felt heat growing inside of his chest. It should feel unreal to him, standing on a destroyed bridge in the soft light of the sunrise, trapped between a tree and John’s body and being kissed senseless, but Adam had never felt more real. All his life he'd spent being someone else, but this…this right here, right now, was finally himself. Just Adam. All those years he had yearned for John were finally erased in this frantic, urgent kiss.  
John suddenly drew back, his chest heaving with every deep breath he drew in.

“What are we doing?” Adam whispered.

“Making this even harder than it already is,” John responded and moved in again, his lips grazing Adam’s jaw and slowly trailing down his neck while one of his hands pulled his scarf and his collar to the side. John placed open-mouthed kisses along Adam’s pulse and Adam rested the back of his head against the tree, allowing himself to drown in the sensation of John’s mouth against his skin.  
Eventually John withdrew and looked at Adam’s face. His smirk was a small indication of how Adam had to look right now; clothes disordered and face red, marks all over his throat.

“I hope your self-hypnosis won’t erase this”

Adam let out a hoarse laugh. “I don’t think I could erase this memory even I tried.”

“Good” John said, the utterly satisfied look on his face sending a shiver down Adam’s spine.

“I don’t want you to forget where your loyalty belongs.”

“I would never.” And that was the truth.

John nodded and took a step back, giving Adam space to breathe again (which he absolutely didn't want).

“Once your deal with _him_ ” John did a lax gesture towards the rough direction of where their car crashed. “is over, make sure to pay me a visit. There’s more where this came from.” The grin on his face was nothing but lewd and Adam felt heat rising to his face once again.

“I’ll remember it.”

Then John was back on his bike and picked up the cigar he had left there.

“Would you mind?”

Adam pulled out his lighter again and held it close to John’s cigar. When it glowed, John took it out of his mouth and moved his free hand into Adam’s hair, pulling him down for another kiss. This one was soft, John’s lips slightly massaging Adam’s before he pulled back again.

“See you…Ocelot.” The look in his eyes was almost sad.

“Until we meet again, Snake.”

Adam mounted his horse and pressed his spurs into the side of the animal. As he galloped away without another look back, he was slightly grateful for his imminent self-hypnosis. There was no way he could survive knowing what it was like to kiss John without being able to do it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be very short and fluffy, but it somehow transformed into this. I hope you like it anyway!


End file.
